Have you ever had something that you were deeply passionate about, something that you really believed in that you gave your all to achieve? Something you poured your heart and soul into, worked tirelessly, stayed up late nights, missed other engagements in order to complete, invest all your savings into, leveraged your home mortgage, worked harder than anything you have ever worked on, only to find the whole thing blow up in your face?
Well then you may have just encountered your very own Dark Night Of Love.
Let me share with you something from the pages of my own journey, mistakes and all, in hopes that it may encourage you and some how allow you to walk away enriched and with a new sense of purpose from peering in to someone’s life. As my mentor Jim Rohn taught me, your life is either a warning or an example.
It’s my story if you will of what happened to us starting back in 2009 right when the economy took it’s worst hit, why we got so quiet in our business, and more importantly how it may help you in the days and months to come as the challenges of life increase for us all and how you can hopefully navigate through these times so you can thrive instead of panic. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes.
The most important thing that these experiences taught me is that some times being so positive that you don’t listen to the signs is just as bad as being a pessimist.
Now don’t freak out on me here!
I’m by no means going to be a doom an gloomer. At the same time, being realistic is important and if a storm is coming I want to know so I can take the right steps to thrive. I’m not one to stick my head in the sand, tap my ruby shoes twice and say “There is no place like home, there is no place like home” because that kind of approach, as experience has pounded into my head, can get you in real trouble.
So it is I share with you these last four years, (As briefly as possible) so you can walk away enriched and with some wisdom for yourself and your business. Yes it focuses on me a lot but only for the purpose of helping you the reader be encouraged that no matter how rough your current situation is there is hope and that it will turn around.
It may be more advantageous to print this out and read it with your morning motion potion in your favorite place to sit and because as brief as I tried to be it is a bit longer than a normal post.
Now how to begin??? Ah yes…let me tell you a story…
Imagine if you will that you are a pilot that is flying to the ultimate vacation destination. Your life is the trip and that which you have always dreamed of, the dream in your heart, what ever it is, is your ultimate destination.
Now you embark on what you think to be your grand adventure to your ideal destination. The take off is exhilarating, the climb exciting and now your flying straight and level and everything is going smoothly. Your gazing happily at the majestic clouds and awestruck at the sun as it sends cascades of light dancing through the cloud formations. Everything is great.
Then it begins.
First you begin to experience some light chop to mild turbulence which you think is just the normal in route weather. But as you happily proceed you begin to encounter much more sever weather and major turbulence. The plane begins to bounce around dropping and climbing but nothing you have not handled before. As the pilot you become more determined to fly through it so you buckle up your seat belt, tell your passengers to do like wise, and to hold on.
As you plod along you start to get intermittent calls from those following the flight as well as those who have already gone through it telling you that it is not safe. The ride is getting so ruff that some of the passengers are tossing their cookies, some have white knuckles as they grip the seats and others have moved from just getting alarmed to downright terrified.
Your confidence of getting to your destination is now deteriorating rapidly. Suddenly some of your circuit breakers are beginning to pop and some warning lights are going off. As things begin to get worse your communications signal has just gone almost out. You can’t tell if tower just said climb 5,000 and turn left or descend 5,000 and turn right.
Now without warning your hydraulic warning lights start flashing and suddenly your gas gauges drop to zero. Your engines are now beginning to sputter and You come to the hard realization that you have got to find a place to set this bird down safely or you’ll be in serious trouble. Kind of like the movie “Always”
You can see a runway just over the tree line that you are quickly approaching. Thinking you may just make it, your wonderful tail wind now switches to a head wind slowing you down and causing you to descend prematurely. You break into a heavy sweat as your life flashed before your eyes as you realize you may not make it.
As hard as your trying to stay positive your emotions suddenly get hit head on with a terrible fear, like hitting a Mack truck head on at 65 miles and hour..
You and your passengers are in deep dodo.
You begin to initiate emergency procedures and look for the best place you can to crash the plane.
And then that’s when it happens.
That gift from heaven everyone calls a miracle.
A quick updraft that helps you clear the tree line just enough that your landing gear, which is now down, just shaves off the tops of the trees and by the grace of GOD you have just enough speed and momentum to make the runway.
Your beads of sweat, now relieved you glide her in for a rough landing.
Your gas tanks now on empty you coast up to the hanger and call for the mechanics.
As everyone stumbles out of the plane to kiss the ground, pray and change their underwear, you do a little dance on the wings and then head off in to the crew quarters to relieve yourself and change your own pants.
You head on over to the flight planning room to being assembling your next flight plan and that’s when it hits you….
You’ve been off course for the last 100 miles. Some how your flight gauges went askew and with your intermittent/dead radio you failed to clearly hear the tower telling you that you’ve missed it and were heading in the wrong direction.
It now begins to break upon your conscious mind the way the morning sun rise does on the horizon, you realize that all the mechanical failures were a GOD sent especially when you discover you were headed for a huge mountain in which you certainly would have met with certain disaster of which there would be no walking away from.
Well my precious friends and readers, that is exactly what happened to us here at TVG and Precision Life Coaching, and why we’ve been so quiet online the last few years.
When we first launched our company Tri-Vision Global and our news letter Non-Stop Service to Success, we were so confident of our destination, our vision, and our purpose. We were successfully coaching & training those entrepreneurs that wanted better results out of their lives and businesses, individuals who were inspired to live their dreams, and wounded warriors that were needing help healing their wings to get back into the sky.
We had our vision, our destination was clear…or so I thought.
The Turbulence Begins.
Our coaching division was helping hundreds of eager entrepreneurs to succeed and we were on target to generate 2.2 Million in coaching services alone in 2008. Our largest corporate account was about to generate 2% of what we produced online for them and a typical sale could be on upwards to $5M. That equates to an additional $100,000 per month or another $1.2 Million. Financially speaking things were looking very good so we brought on several virtual assistants, one in house executive assistant and refinanced our home to utilize the equity to launch our movie “Who’s Depending On Your Dream”
But physically the stress was really getting to me. Prior to those funds there were 6 hand selected clients and top experts whom we were building their entire internet marketing platforms.
Mistake #1: (light chop which you think is common along the flight) Undercutting costs in exchange for the name recognition we would receive for helping high profile clients. The net result was that I had to do most of the work myself both for my 3 companies, as well as for them, because the funds were not available to bring on the extra expertise.
So the stress load was really building up.
It was common that my work days were no longer a work week but rather 2-3 sprints of 28-36 hour sprints followed by a little rest and then at it again, starting when the children got up for school at 7:00a.
In the beginning when we launched the company I used to have these “Morning meetings” to get the necessary insights and wisdom for the day. I called it my “Sacred Hour”. Well those morning meetings were now non existent as I worked out of fear that certain results by a certain time must be produced or I would run out of money.
Instead my mornings now consisted of turning on my computer, and bam… was right into the stress again reading emails and responding to social media posts, with hardly time for breakfast or shower.
Or so the fear convinced me.
Mind you I was managing the internet marketing of my own three companies. A coaching company, the strategic optimization company, and a hosting company, along with the 6 other clients I had.
Each of the 6 clients were under priced and so any one who knows what it takes to do internet marketing right, knows I was doing the job of 7/8 people minimum in a boot strap scenario.
Talk about nuts…
Buckle Your Seat Belts
Then if what I was doing wasn’t bad enough, the bright idea to launch a New Years Success Expo took hold of my heart. And that is when things began to really get rough.
With only 5 weeks to pull it off my assistant suggested we may not have enough time. (The tower suggesting their may be rough weather ahead).
Previous experience of working with Jom Rohn, deceived me into thinking it could be done.
But there was much to learn.
We approached all the speakers. The deal was they would promote the event to their data bases and waive their speaking fee and we would pay for their airfare, hotel and food and share the profits from the sales of the program and their courses. We would also record the event and then make the program available on DVD for those who attended as well as for P.B.S.
If all went as planned we should easily cover our costs, share the rewards with the speakers and have plenty of
resources to continue to build the business.
Mistake #2) Failing to have strong agreements with the speakers and assuming that they would promote the event. Instead we should have a solid agreement, created the emails for them written by a direct sales copy writer and have tracking codes for every piece of content that went out. As a result the speakers did not promote to their data bases.
Mistake #3). I hired a media management team that was supposed to have strong connections in our city and would be able to get a commercial shot for us and book us on the major radio and TV stations. But they kept coming up with delays and I believed them when they told me that people in our city people don’t plan that far out. They usually only need two weeks.
Being new to the town I ignored my intuition. The commercial was to air on the 1st of Jan. giving us two weeks. Instead it came out one week later only giving us a week. Can you say Duhhh?
Mistake #4). Having done multiple seminars as a promoter for Jim Rohn I proceeded to put out signs all over the city. More than 100. Then the call came in that really made things challenging. The city was not telling me they were going to charge me $250 per sign that was out because only politicians can put up signs.
In the past my team and I could put 800 people in a room in 5 weeks but now, by myself, with all these challenges this was another story.
After investing close to $30,000, we only had 3 people show up. To say that was a let down would be a severe understatement. It was like being hit in the spiritual gut and having the wind knocked out of you mentally, emotionally and financially.
Mistake #5: To top it all off I made another critical mistake of putting up a website campaign that was under development up on an internet marketers hosting company and made it live on the net before we were done.
The result….a top marketer found it on Google and copied the idea. With that idea he made over $7M that summer.
The warning lights were now sounding loud and clear. Add a three year law suite that was now thrown in the mix and you can guess that things were really getting really rough. Oh and toss in a little rejection from one of my best friends who told me he never wanted to hear form me again when in my enthusiasm tried to help him find work, and you got some emotional circuit breakers popping.
The Dark Night Begins
Mistake # 6) Opening emails from People you do not know…whose fruit you are uncertain about…
In the summer of 2009 I got an email that completely derailed my confidenceand conviction about what we were doing. It was if my internal GPS was thrown completely off. It totally turned my spiritual and emotional life upside down. I was thrown into a total state of panic and fear like nothing ever felt before.
Now add all the stresses of trying to run the 3 companies and helping my clients it’s easy to understand that my decision making was rapidly deteriorating. It was time for a break. So we packed up the mini van and headed out on a 30 day round trip adventure across the country from Florida to Lake Tahoe and back.
We drove off the major highways enjoying the scenic country side of endless fields of corn and wheat while stopping at all the national parks along the way. From Dinosaurs to Indians we followed the Lewis & Clark trail. I began to unwind a bit and the fear began to subside. Little did I know that there was a major storm about to be unleashed upon us.
After some family time and a relaxing drive back, about 3-4 days out from coming home we decided to meet my wife’s parents at a beautiful camp ground at this lake in Georgia. While there we were totally unaware that a little bitty plastic part in our toilet was about to wreak havoc upon our lives. When we got home at 11:30 at night 3 days later and opened the door, I was met with a moldy smell and a strange sound. As I followed the sound I noticed the kitchen floor was wet. Proceeding around the corner to the hall way down to my office the water began to rise till it was up to my ankles.
It seems that while we were enjoying our last few days the toilet regulator had snapped off and our toilet could not stop running. Instead water shot straight up and overran our toilet flooding out 2/3rds of the house.
With the office home now wiped out of commission for the next 2 and half months, along with having no stable central place to do business, a shift in the economy in which I was not able to be there for my clients, all sources of revenues dried up. I had reached my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual limits. The gas gauges were now suddenly on empty and the landing strip seemed to far away to make it safely. I really became distraught to where I needed a lot of help.
From my viewpoint it seemed hopeless. All our money now gone, offices destroyed, customers gone, holding more than $51,000 in new business debt.
When you throw in the refinanced mortgage that we could no longer pay I was looking at $350,000.
What was I to do with three children and a wonderful wife that was now terrified herself and $4000 in monthly living expenses with absolutely no income.
We had to use our emergency fuel of our 401K on a hardship withdrawal just to keep the momentum going to hopefully reach the end of the runway.
Then out of no where the wind shifted from the tail wind to the head wind and a strong down draft. A $40,000 dollar judgment and a three year tax audit from the IRS hit us at the worst possible time.
Trouble was 90% of our records were destroyed in the flood. Seems the restoration company had tossed out the receipts in the clean up. With no proof to justify our expenses we had to hire a specialized accountant and IRS attorneys with money we no longer had. I thought for sure we were not going to make the runway.
Then that gift from GOD, what many call a miracle, a little puff of wind to pop us up over the trees to help us set down on the runway. A little financial help from my Father and Father-in-law allowed us to hire the IRS Attorneys and to pay the mortgage which was now severely behind. The company that came to restore our home from the flood allowed me to come to work with them doing some project management and web marketing advise for two months before a previous employer agreed to allow me to return to so that we could pay the bills, keep a roof over our head and food on the table.
This was my chance to rest, regroup, recharge and spend some serious time in what I now call the Spiritual Flight Planning Room to heal, re-plot and re-organize. It was then it was revealed to me that we had gotten off course about 100 miles back that had we stayed on our current flight plan, I suspect we would have run head into major mountain for which there would have been no recovery.
In the quiet long dark agonizing months to follow I lost all hope and really thought my life was over. I was confused as to why this happened because it seemed things were going really well then suddenly “BOOM!” everything hit almost from out of no where.
I racked my brain the way a drill sergeant breaks in his new recruits, to try and understand what had happened, where did I go wrong? It was so hard because I was so certain that I had heard from divine LOVE and was on the plan of accomplishing the mission.
“How could this happen?” I thought.
At first I got nothing. Only a soul tormented by fearful thoughts of what was I going to do now at 42.
My desire and determination to figure this out became so obsessive that it became my number one goal. I was like a bull dog that would chew off your arm if you tried to separate him from his bone. Then one day an impression grew inside me that wanting to get out of the problem and figure it out had become more important to me than GOD. I wanted the answers to be revealed more than my actual relationship with my wife and Loving CREATOR. I had to let it go but it was so hard. It was like a drowning sailor holding onto his life ring. But the problem was that your problems, and getting their answer, don’t make a good life preserver.
So with all the faith that was left in my heart I made a decision to let it go and focus on my relationship with GOD. Slowly several books came across my path that begin to bring sense to what had happened and ministered to the pain in my heart.
One was a book called “Faith in the Night Seasons“ by Nancy Missler which revealed how our CREATOR allows a custom made set of circumstances to bring them to the place where they would be stripped of everything they come to have confidence in, so they can move from hearing about HIM to knowing HIM face to face.
In this eye opening heart mending book, healing began to come as I read how this couple lost everything, had a million dollar judgment come against them from the IRS, they lost most all their friends, their home, and all their possessions in an earth quake. All they had was their child like faith and that was now being severely refined and matured. The book began to help me see that GOD was stripping away everything that I was relying on, including my soulish understandings of faith so that I could come up to a higher more mature understanding of faith.
The next book was “The Upside of Adversity“ by Os Hillman. In this book Os chronicles how he lost his multi million dollar marketing business, his wife, all his monies, and almost lost the relationship with his daughter. He lost his control, his reputation, his confidence. He revealed how he discovered his path was to be a 7 year journey that is often called “The Joseph Calling” and it was designed to make him a new kind of leader.
It was clear that a a deep work was going on in my life and heart, as difficult as it was, and all I could do was to surrender to the process. If I struggled against it, it would only take longer.
The key was to learn how to be still and listen to the still small voice within. In doing so slowly my soul was retrained to learn how to follow the Spirit of peace. Along with that came more lessons spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, and business wise.
Those first few years were painful but divine LOVE brought a handful of key books and people to re-align my internal GPS. The process helped me to establish proper course headings, re-installed reliable internal software of proper beliefs and understandings. It was as if Divine LOVE re-established and re-enforced communication systems with my own flight control tower (GOD) so that I could hear properly and more accurately, along with installing checks and balances… like listening to my wife as a co-pilot and heed her concerns. And GRACE gave me a more clear destination.
Slowly, bit by bit, step by step things began to stabilize and get better and stronger. It was as if I was first in a Spiritual Operating room, then the recovery room followed by physical therapy.
Everything that was important to me completely changed and for the first time my eyes were opened to see why I did what I did. It seemed I had this huge hole in my heart that wanted love and if I could be a BIG success then my dad would love me.
When I lost my first business I jumped whole heartedly into spirituality. While the wounds were only superficially being healed I simply replaced Business Success with Spiritual Success. I thought if I could have a majorly big ministry I would be loved and accepted. As I hear one person day it. Gandhi in Armani.
Instead the lessons learned…that it was all false.
What was being impressed upon my heart was that there was only one thing and one thing alone that could satisfy and heal me, and their was only one Person who could do it,… you guessed it…GOD.
But it had to be done on HIS terms.
Not the way that Western Christianity teaches. No I’m talking about the way it was originally set up in the early years. A real living tangible relationship with the CREATOR HIMSELF. One in which you could talk and listen just like our relationships on earth. But a relationship that worked and was cultivated. One in which priorities were established and honored. Where real time together was focused. Not like many of today’s relationships that are partial as one runs from one activity to another. No… here you turn off the TV, close the door, put down the cell phone, turn off the computer and just talk for hours.
It was very hard thing for me to do. I had to die to all my emotions, and thoughts of insignificance and the things and activities I used to do to create value and worth. It was a very dark and scary time. The dark night of the soul, as some poets put it. But as it turned out, it became my “Dark Night Of Love”, which I’ll discuss shortly.
To me all hope was lost, my world as I knew it was over. And in a way it was and I was terrified of the future.
My imagination was feeding me worse case scenarios of poverty and living in tent villages. How was I going to send my children to school, would they even live long enough to enjoy life and school and all the things that we know as “Life.” What about my health, how would I care for myself? What about our country, it seemed to be headed in the wrong direction and that my children would suffer. I no longer had any savings as the law suite took everything I had left and the IRS got my future earnings as well. Humiliated and desperate, I returned to my previous employer, after being on my own for so long, with my tail between my legs if you will.
So when those books and a handful of other resources came a long at just the right time, they became an anchor to secure me in some very rough weather. Mind you however; it was so dark that for some time I had no hope.
began to happen.
At first it was just a small spark, not even noticeable. Then a very tiny flicker of a flame. The fears I was experiencing were slowly being replaced with peace. A sense of tranquility and contentment with my lot in life or whatever came my way, for worse or maybe better, began to grow. Hope was building in my heart but a different kind of hope. No longer in material things or accomplishments but rather in closer intimacy with our CREATOR. That I could sense HIS presence, feel HIS love and be led in the right direction.
Now instead of wanting out of the situation I was content to go through it, well at least more than I was prior. It seemed that patience was rising up in my emotional constitution and my emotions were slowly being healed. Instead of me wanting my life fixed and brought back to normal “NOW”, all that stirred in me, except the occasional memory once in a while, was wanting more of GOD. My laundry list of “answers I wanted” to the problems we were going through, were replaced with just focusing my thoughts on HIS words, all that HE had already done, pondering the words spoken into my heart and life and what was important to HIM.
My tattered and badly damaged relationship with my wife was slowly being rebuilt. Trust was being extended and instead of each of us just doing our own things, the desire to help one another was flourishing for the first time since we were married. It was if Divine LOVE opened my eyes to see new things about myself. Then a really cool resource came across my path about Strongholds and how they affect your emotions and decision making abilities. Now everything began to make sense. It was like I was placed on top of a hill so see a magnificent view of how specific spiritual forces were at work in our lives to try and direct & distract our lives in the wrong directions.
But the greatest thing that was necessary for me to learn was that my connection to GOD was truly THE priority we need in our lives. Not just a verbal acknowledgement but a real desire to develop, strengthen and nurture it. While I may still have off days today, this has become my single focus.
Another discovery that finally dawned on my mind and heart was that Divine LOVE was always there. Prior to this understanding that email really threw me for a loop. It terrified me. My confidence had been severely shaken and thoughts bombarded me that I had displeased HIM. That I had some how committed an unpardonable sin. That HE was going to judge me and terminate our relationship.
It was horrible because despite my many faults, which are many, the one thing I desired with all my heart was to be close, to please HIM and do what was right. That was why my heart wanted to build the business in the first place. So I could have more time with HIM and my family.
You see when you experience HIS love…there is no greater joy in a humans life than to experience and enjoy a smile from heaven. The love and fellowship of our CREATOR in all the ways HE allows. Some times through our spouse, children & friends and other times it is those quiet alone intimate times over looking a beautiful scene, garden or mountain range. It can be a breath taking sunrise or sunset. Some times in quiet prayer you sense the stirring of HIS wisdom and love as HE illuminates your understanding. Maybe it’s the wind of HIS breath, the rain of HIS tears of joy on our faces.
You can certainly imagine that the one thing that gave me such joy seemed to be robbed from me. It was so difficult because I truly believed I was on a mission from GOD. A Mission to help people get free from the spiritual , mental, emotional, physical and financial challenges that restrict and imprison us to the needless suffering so many go through as they watch their lives disintegrate before their eyes. This imprisonment that keeps us from the true abundant life we know deep down in our hearts is possible but we some how are failing to enjoy.
So when everything hit my heart sank as for I thought I was cast out, this played havoc on my soul to say the least. A deep gratitude washed over my heart like an ocean wave caresses the sand when this connection was strengthened. I could once again sense HIS loving presence, my joy and fulfillment began to return. There was a new sense of purpose birthed in my heart. This time with more humility and sensitivity to HIS leading.
Now you hopefully can understand that in the Spiritual Flight Planning room one could see with more clarity. The mountain I would have crashed into along with all the passengers came into clear view. It was here that it dawned on me that this whole dark experience was truly a Dark Night Of HIS LOVE in my life.
To get me to a place where I could hear and understand more clearly. It was now evident as to what the proper direction was and what to do with TV, Video, Blogging, Posting, Business Building. To inspire and lead people to HIM, to help them learn how to follow HIS leading, to discover their true purpose and how to use business for the right reasons as a blessing to help others, not build up our personal net worth.
So beginning in March 2013 it was as if LOVE pulled me back into the Spiritual Flight Planning Room and began to whisper some things into my heart to successfully accomplish this mission that was reawakening in my heart. HE pulled in some “Flight instructors” if you will who were seasoned in Software development, business training to shore up my business skills and began to reveal what tools & resources would be needed in websites, blogs, computers, video equipment, software, personal skill developments, what the refined message to share and reveal and finally what mistakes were made and how to insure they don’t happen again.
Thus we departed with a revised flight plan to help teach others how to fulfill their true destiny.
Kinda cliché but what does that mean?
It means understanding where the vision comes from in ones heart, clarifying it, and then helping them to build the systems, both personally and business wise, and the processes to take that vision to the world, while at the same time helping them to develop the skills to handle the challenges that will coming and to navigate the changing times coming to our world as Divine LOVE returns in fullness to our planet.
Now Boarding Again!
And so it is with this post that we announce that we are “Now Boarding” once again with “Non-Stop Service to Success with continuing service to Significance”
Our Goal, with the new release of “Who’s Depending On Your Dream“, and the Up-Coming Launch of “The Entrepreneurs Pit Stop“ is to Wake Up & Empower As Many People as Possible to Their True Purpose and develop in them the understanding & skills to make that Divinely Inspired Dream a reality so the world will walk in the blessing it was intended to.
Feel free to sign up for our NEW news letter “Strategic Freedom“ with our upcoming report “The Elijah Report” In the days, weeks, and months to follow, our goal will be to equip and empower you to fulfill your destiny by giving you access to the insights, tools, and people that will help you holistically develop your understanding and skills so you can successfully fulfill the vision in your heart. To provide you with the strength to carry on despite the challenges that still lie ahead for all of humanity.
It’s my hope that you would join us on this sacred mission of “Fulfilling Destiny” that has already begun to reach around the world. You can even Share this with your fellow friends and family.
Keep in mind we are doing a lot of work to upgrade our image and brand so please don’t mind the dust.
If you have any suggestions I would love to hear how I might be able to serve you better.
Also come visit us in our up-coming online Hale (HA-LAY) where you will be able to purchase a variety of items to encourage you to press on in this mighty challenge.
Lastly feel free to email me with any questions you may need help on and I’ll personally email you back within 24-48 hours. firstname.lastname@example.org
I welcome you aboard and look forward to serving you by helping you achieve and fulfill your true life’s purpose.
Remember to Fly Right!
Upward & Onward;